Today was was such an emotional day for me. I didn't talk to anyone, didn't want to because I knew I would just cry. I spent the day looking at old pictures and showing Ella and telling her about her Aunt. Someone that she will never know in this life and it made me so terribly sad. Ella kept on wiping my tears and saying "mommy.. sad?" A hurt mommy?" I really didn't want to cry in front of Jarrett because I know the sadness I feel and can't imagine how much more difficult it is for him and his sweet family. When I cry in front of them I feel incredibly guilty. I know I should be celebrating her life today but that is so much easier said than done, I miss her so much. I always think how much life would be different if she were here, maybe she would even have a child of her own right now and Ella would have a playmate. Wishful thinking I guess.
I remember being mad at Danielle on our wedding day because she was missing when we were trying to take pictures of all of the bridesmaids. Later I found out that the reason for her absence was that she was cleaning my car for me so that I could have a clean car when we left for our honeymoon from the wedding. How sweet is that? She was always so thoughtful and sweet. I only have good memories of her she was such a good sister and daughter.
I miss you everyday Danielle. Thank you for being such an inspiration. You are one of the most beautiful people I know both inside and out.
